Its just one of those days today, where everything seems slow. It’s the calm after the storm, the endless madness pretty much ended yesterday. I met my current deadlines and it feels great.

Today is just another day but a day where I can breathe, and feel free. A day I have spent just taking stock of whats been done and what lies ahead.

A day spent listening to U2 , viewing some old pictures and getting all nostalgic.

Famous Quotes from a Conference

Authors note
So here I am in Chandigarh, a sleepy capital of Punjab. Attending a conference, which neither my boss nor me had any inkling to be a part off. There was hectic reading and last minute drafting. But none the less we are here. I was supposed to be home this weekend after meeting my deadlines, but as luck would have it I was forced to board this flight

Produced below are some of the statements that made sense or atleast made me jump out of my perpetual sleepy sojourn at every conference I attend

Sanjoy Hazirka-
“ the role of the police is to protect the “raj” and the people are just incidental to further the cause of the raj”
“I am not a rights activist, I am just an overtly cynical journalist”
“Laws are created to essentially deal with the problems not to create a million more”’

Indira Jaising
“We have to live not only with the laws, but even the contradictions of those laws”

Bishnu
“There is a lot of difference between a liar and a bullshitter!!! And the liar is anyday better than a bullshitter”

One of the panelists

“There is a lot of ‘elaasticitee’ in the case”
Bhagat
“Lets move towards the normative and there is normativity in everything”

Babloo
“The media in Manipur lives under the gun”

“India cant look at 40 million people as a buffer zone with China”

Conference no more

Stuck at this conference far from the comforts of my home, I am already sick and have a borderline migraine. All this legal discourse on immunity and impunity is a wee much for me.

There is only so much one can talk or hear about an issue. And trust me when I say this the last week and a bit more has been spent researching and writing a paper for this conference and add to that the last 12 hours which have been spent hearing the same bull I have been reading about.

I wish it would end here but I have the whole of tomorrow as well which will be spent hearing some more narratives et al.

No smoking? What Shyte!!!

Thanks to the new “ No smoking in Public Places Rules” gone are the days when I could chill at work with a smoke. I dug my own grave, it was after all my very own office that dealt with the case and I was one of the briefing counsels who argued in favor of no smoking in public places.

Its really shyte. I WANT TO SMOKE AGAIN AT WORK. I WANT MY FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS RESTORED

Fuck the client!!!!!

Anger, its brilliant, it’s a high, it’s a way out, it’s for those who fuck with my head.

Its especially for those clients who take me for granted and call me at any given hour and when I don’t respond to their calls at 3 am, they turn around and send a stinker to the boss, who in turn kicks my sorry arse to the ebbs of the milky way

But what the hell, there is only so much one can take, so yea anger aright!!! Seething, raving me , just tore a file and washed my hands of the case. For all I care the client can go take a paragliding fuck. HELLS YEA!!!!!

Thank you Miss Manian,

A world tormented by the boss came to life this evening, oblivious of the world outside, oblivious to Metallica's latest album, i was stunned into silence when i saw Unforgiven III in my inbox.

Heitfield and Ulrich were back, so were the solos,

Memories of a young me head-banging to Metallica were back

In the words of Brian Hiat ( Rolling Stones) " Death Magnetic is the musical equivalent of Russia's invasion of Georgia — a sudden act of aggression from a sleeping giant"

There is only so much one can do, breathing takes up most of your time and energy and whatever is left is spent trying to live.

Aint it ironical, we spend it all, on being what we never thought we would be.?

We end up being what we never wanted to be?

We end up living a life that aint ours

We end up being a far cry from the dreams we had set aside for us

We end up…

Being the we, we never thought we could ever be!

Almost

She sits, and waits, slow she reads the files, her hands running over the papers like a mantis over its prey.

Lord why? Really why? It was five this evening, the cool breeze blew over us and she had left, left for the weekend. We were free, we even celebrated, and maybe I even did the jiggy.

But then she came back without a warning. Came back to torment us, came back to make our already miserable lives hell.
Now she sits and waits…

Waits for us to slave some more, waits for us to lose our already looney minds.

This torture, this wait… some one fucking shoot me

Nothing seems to be working

Complete lack of sleep, hours in court with nothing but adjournments, a car that cries out for help, a house that needs cleaning, a study that resembles a war torn zone. Chaos ensues and engulfs the very bubble I call my life.

My mind, my life needs a break, maybe some marijuana might help?
The basic purpose of marijuana was to prove Darwin was wrong, maybe that’s what I need.
Maybe I need to come into work stoned and walk into the boss’s chamber and say hey ho!!! Supppp need a drag.. That might be help.

Crazy

What a week and a bit more, work, work and more work has been the call. It’s nothing new, but its all shyte.
Umpteen cups of coffee empty packs of smokes. It’s been rather crazy and even the weekend ahead looks bleak. I have a deadline coming up for the 3rd and that’s driving me nuts.
May the lord bless me

Summer gone by

Even though I love cribbing and complaining about everything around me I still cant get my self to crib about the summer that’s on its way out.

The summer just gone by on the contrary has been so unlike what you expect that I’m left with no option but to thank the weather gods for their unexpected benevolence.

Constant rains, thunderstorms, orange hued skies, were my constant companions the past months. Sitting by my patio every evening after work sipping on my lemon tea I would for hours just take in the brilliance of the monsoons and the almost non-existent heat.

To say the least it has been brilliant.

Technically winter is still 44 days away and I cant wait for the frost and fog to set in, the grey skies and bone numbing cold.

Life and times…

What started off as a day I had perceived to be chaotic ended on a decently high note.

Still reeling from the serial blasts (pretty much pissed and distressed after perusing through the morning newspapers), I headed out to deal with one of my biggest cases for the year.

Nearly 40 days had passed since I was unceremoniously handed the case, more so I was expecting for the matter to be adjourned and some more drafting and filing around the corner (that’s the bloody problem with the system, the paper work never ends, there are affidavits, counter affidavits, replies, rejoinders, transfer petitions, notifications, notices, service of notices, ) and lord if you don’t maintain a diary you can get screwed ( for the record I still don’t maintain a proper diary, my court clerk does it for and lord he is bad, but I never learn).

So anyways I was at the wheel of my car when it struck me that I had forgotten the case papers at my study, arghhhh!!!!

After some last minute readings and sorting at the office, I was off to court, only to realise that my fly had given way, no ways was I going to walk in to the Supreme Court Of India, with my fly undone, (spent the rest of the day at Court trying to cover my modesty with the British relic, the all hated black gown , donned by the Supreme Court lawyers), ( I have probably never really appreciated that darned gown before)

Mondays and Fridays are Miscellaneous days, which in layman terms means chaos, hundreds of matters on board, with most matters lasting not more than a few minutes, so if you are amongst those who have many matters in different courts it can be quite a workout.

Luckily for me I had only one matter of any significance, deep down I really wanted a closure with the darned case, there were way too many issues of no significance, more like every one was hell bent on making a mountain out of a mole hill, moreover the client had declared bankruptcy during the course of the legal proceedings and we were suffering huge losses.

My boss was equally sick of the case, (for all we care the Ja pan ese surr ogate child just had to go back to Japan and India ( Ministry of External Affiars) had way too many issues of its own to deal with a baby born to a Ja pan ese man.

Just a pointer, never deal with the J’s all their Ministers are mad, snooty and stuck up, and the clients never want to pay, for crying out loud, I haven’t met a more stuck up race.

There was complete chaos 18 minutes before the hearing, the boss was freaking out over some documents, the photocopier in the library was out of order, the court clerk went missing as usual, and the media was circling around like vultures over a dying prey. Just a perfect day in my life.

With less than 10 minutes, the boss the AOR and me stepped into the court room, the boss found a cosy chair for herself while the AOR and I were standing at the back of the courtroom and glancing over some papers, when he told me that just the day before one of the judges at the Bench was stuck with his wife in an elevator for 4 hours and was mighty pissed about it.

I couldn’t help but think of the mood he must be in and about the poor person who must have lost his job.

But to cut the long story short, it all went well after all and we got the order we wanted (pretty much won the case).. phew……

Well, so that was today, tomorrow shall be another adventure, I have two huge matters in the morning, and as usual I haven’t read the files (one of them is a dowry death case and the pictures produced as evidence were just down right gory and depressing, so have put them aside to be read in the loo early tomorrow morning,), as for the other one I was just too bored to read the darned case, thus will have my court clerk read them to me while I am driving to court.

All Pray…

Secular no more

Time is a great healer they say, I might agree with that, but what about those who have lost friends and families in serial blasts that have rocked our nation over the last 3 months, Bangalore, Jaipur, Surat Ahd and now Delhi.

Why are we fighting this proxy war?

Who are we fighting against? The common man? The very women and children who are targeted every day?

I find my self in a great dilemma, my very constitution is shaken, the very principles I stand and fight for seem to be have been eroded.

Terrorist attacks in the name of God, a minority community I have fought for, why then do they have to stoop down to killing innocents? Placing bombs in children’s parks in the name of God, is that jihad? Killing children, innocent people is that a holy war?

Why then should I stand for them, why then should I fight their battle? Why then should I not join the right wing and become a Hindu fundamentalist?

I agree that the minority community suffered when LK Advani’s “rath yatra” cut across India, I agree that the minority community suffered when communal violence burnt Gujarat. I agree they suffered but why, why divide this nation along the lines of religion.

Maybe the failures and the problems lie in the very secular fabric we are rather proud of. I have never been a Gandhian, in-fact I hate him, his policies, his very face on the currency I work so hard for. Yes I know its easy to blame him and others for the failures of this nation, the breakdown of the system, but then who do I turn to? I don’t have an answer.

I have lost faith in secularism; I believe that the secular fabric of this nation has been eroded forever.

From Ground Zero

How many more people will die, how many more blasts will rock our country?
Delhi was torn apart by serial blasts (three of them) at the time of the writing of this piece.
Fortunately for me I am safe, but things could have been different I had crossed GK I, one of the sites of the blast barely an hour before the blasts.
It was only when I got home, did I find out about these gory acts of terror.
At this moment I am rather depressed and distressed and I hope and pray that there are no more following blasts.

Just another NGO conference…

Just when you think you can spend your Saturday sitting at home sipping on some gin and tonic, you are asked to attend this NGO conference which frankly wont change nothing.

The only bright side is the food, which might be a decent bite, and the wine that might flow later in the evening.

But at what cost? Having to spend three hours driving to the venue, the heat the humidity.

Anyways so here I am sitting at the back of a rather plush conference hall soaking in the much-needed air conditioning and listening to people talk the same shyte.

I always wonder why NGO’s hold so many meetings? All plush, great food, sometimes even at rather exotic locations. Maybe it’s a scam, a cover up.

While musing on the said issue, there is this incident that comes to my mind, right after the Tsunami rocked the Andaman’s, NGO’s had no idea where to spend the money. March (the end of the budget year) was looming large and the money HAD to be spent. So instead of buying food and shelter for the survivors, the NGO’s ended up buying most of the survivors boats!!!! Beat that, you don’t have food, you don’t have shelter but what you do have are boats, hells yea!!! Great way to save the world.

Whats next?

I finally did it, after threatening to do it for the longest time, this afternoon I stood up and ran screaming out of office for no apparent reason. It was quite a sight and it felt blissfully liberating.

Just me, my legs and the door in sight, I darted for freedom.

Though only to return a few minutes later much to the bewildered expressions of my equally deranged colleagues.

Morning Raga…

Can’t recall the last time I was up this early for no apparent reason. There was, for a change no impending draft that needed to be finalised or some last minute research that needed looking into, instead it was just the dawn and me.

A rising sun, streaks of orange bright and brilliant.

All seemed perfect, till I went back to bed and got late for work…. DAMN !!!

Random Midnight Musing.

If evolution is as constant as change then I do believe I am evolving this very moment. My thoughts, my perceptions, me, are all evolving. Not every evolution is for the best though. Ape to Man being an example.
Life was so much better as an ape I am sure.

Words …

Words are just an expression of what we want others to perceive of us. A thoughtful permutation of letters and thoughts thrown into cauldron, spiced up with some reality.

More reflections…

I agree life is a book with many chapters, some written and some waiting to be written.

Turn the page they say, a new page everyday adds to those chapters they call life.

Every memory, every moment, gone by, a word on a page in the chapter out of the book titled life.

Reflections from the past seems to be the call of the week. I cant help but stop thinking of those million pages I authored.