Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Tuesday this week…


Another week gone by, one less week to live (the eternal pessimist within jumps with joy).. the cold is near bone chilling and I am loving every bit of it, dressed like a tramp I pass my days in sheer delight, summer is only a month away and the thought of it makes me wanna die.

Delhi summers for most who have never experienced it, is straight out of a microwave, dry, bone burning heat, coupled with frequent power cuts and genetically mutated mosquitoes from hell, and makes life less worth living.
If only I was the weather God, I would delete summer from my weather system altogether.
I am back at work on a useless Tuesday afternoon, and lunch is a few minutes away, Van Gogh and Michael Angelo (my two Siamese fighter fish, look as bored as I do). The apple snails munch on some carrot and a lettuce leaf, life in this workstation has never been this dull.

The only thing smiling here is the picture of Mahmoud (10, a rag picker in West Bank), I often stare at him, surrounded by trash, dressed in rags and throwing a priceless toothy smile back. I don’t know him and probably never will, but in a strange way he gives me hope…

Monday, January 21, 2008

21st January ...

Another moment of madness...

Construe this as a moment of madness, a moment where time stood still, faceless and empty like the thoughts in my head, a moment I thought would be my last, flashbulbs and cameras, social activists, Supreme Court lawyers and hundreds of journalists packed in room with a woman, a victim of rape and genocide in the midst of it all…

Dressed in a brown quasi overcoat acting like a shadow and consultant to my boss, I stood there taking it all in, slow.. the pain the woman had gone through, the struggle for justice and the eventual victory in our struggle towards achieving the impossible.

It was then that it struck me, more like an image in my head, a booming sound, earth shattering and painful engulfing the room, it could have been our end had it not been in my head, but I pictured it, laying numb in one corner breathing my last, numb and disillusioned from the blast that could have ripped the room, I am not intuitive (thankfully) .. but I felt it.

For all those we stand up against, men in power who hate us for hating them for the murders and rapes they shamelessly committed and supported, this could have been an opportunity to get rid of all of us in one effortless go.

With no metal detectors, not a single security personal this could have and would have been the easiest way to target the civil society activists who have raised their voices time and again against the tyrannical and barbaric genocidal rule of the few we oppose.
Thankfully it was all in my head, I survived this and so did the hundreds with me, but for how long is a question I rather not have an answer for.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Egg Curry and Justice- A scary dichotomy



Guess there is only one way around this, I need to dig deep and start aiming at posting things on a daily basis. (aiming for the stars am I?), but anyways there is no harm giving it a shot.

15th Jan 08,

Another day gone by, spent at the Supreme Court, wondering if this is what I wanted from life, a constant duel, the never ending bickering.... the bohemian pot smoking me feels all deprived and ignored.

Black coats, a whole hoard of judges with inflated egos and accents from hell, (half my time is spent deciphering their distorted speech).
I cant seem to get the thought of quitting this and moving to the mountains to smoke some pot and farm some apples out of my head.
But anyways I passed out at Court yet again, sweet dreamy sleep engulfed me, where I even dreamt of hitting Brett Lee for a six ....was a welcome change from watching and hearing a senior counsel argue why coal mining in West Bengal needs to be stopped, or where a bunch of Indian Sadhus stormed into the court room waiting for the much awaited judgment on whether Ram the Indian God actually existed. ( I am not sure if the US supreme court has ever been moved on the issue of the existence of Jesus Christ). Anyways keeping with the trend of the Indian Legal System both the matters were adjourned…( ever wondered why it takes litigants in India years to see light at the end of the tunnel)


Back at work, the boss was screaming at the court clerk and a client, the weather seemed cloudy but far from stormy ( the weather reports entail the mood of the boss… )
Hours went by… researching… drafting.. more researching… some more drafting and re drafting when I finally decided to take a break…

Was sitting with T taking a break over a cup o' terrible milky tea and discussing my day at the court with the new interns, who were letting one and all know how I passed out while waiting for my matter to come up on board and the conversation settled on the intricacies of how afternoons are spent in court rooms, where judges and lawyers 'like, fight and dig deep to stay awake but fail miserably, the soft snore , the droopy eyes and dropping heads are a common sight.
It was then that it struck us ( T, I give you full credit here), how the lives and the justice of this country rests in the hands of a bunch of sleepy men, who have stuffed their faces with the only edible ‘thing’ available at the Supreme Court cafeteria – the egg curry.
Out of the shell…? Almost

A three month hiatus, and I still cant write…its all in the head and its all screwed up, suppression seems to be a thing of the past, the me within is beginning to rebel, signs of rebellion loom large over the horizon, endless hours of staring at my fish are finally paying dividends. There is anger, a dormant volcano is about to explode, unleash hell, wrath and more. This should be fun.
Gone are the days when words would flow like an ocean breeze, where everything around it had a word attached to it.. gone are the times when living everyday was a reason to write, to share…. Ominous signs? Maybe.. I cant be sure… But it might all change..