Monday, December 28, 2009

Its Easy for me to Sum up 2009

i guess when you sit a metre away from a land mine in a war torn country surrounded by nothing but rubble and bullet shells, smoking high grade afghani charas , introspection comes easy!!!!!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Divide it’s so cool

Another new state? Why not, I think it’s not fair, I have always wanted my own state, Sethikhand, and I am sure Zara wants one for herself too Zara Pradesh.

As an example of such an act of stupidity of unimaginable magnitudes, Uttrakhand was a state born through this whole useless state struggle and what was the outcome?

A state sooo fucked that the Chief Minister once stated on national TV when asked how the hill state would generate funds “ It is very cold here, we will impose higher taxes on alcohol and shall sell the same at a higher price and thereby generate the much needed funds.

What followed suit was even worse, millions were spent on sign boards congratulating those who fought for the new state, money which could have been used for development was used for erecting the ugliest signboards ever. (Literally the world’s ugliest erection(s) )

Trees were chopped coz the new government offices and residences had to be created, only fair don’t you think, trees they are useless, after all what is a tree without a government?

At the end of this I say why stop at a new state, go-ahead fuckers demand for a new country.
In the present instance The Republic of Telengana. (ROT)

That sounds like a plan, print your own new currency on old recycled banana leaves, make mutton biryani your national dish and print a picture of the same on your national flag.

Then comes the most important issue of national income, funds and revenue for the country.
Raising an army and declaring war on every nation that eats biryani without paying a royalty to the ROT can sort that bit out.

Charge 25% per plate consumed in every country except the US who will be given a special discount of 15% thereby only charging them 10 % keeping in mind the size of their army and their past conducts especially in Afghanistan.
Just to ensure that Obama administration doesn’t send in 45,000 troops to invade and take over every biryani eatery in the ROT.

ROT should also cut all ties with India, thereby ensuring it’s perpetually landlocked for all times to come.

Further it shall be made mandatory for all families to herd goats to ensure a never-ending supply of mutton for the biryani.

Rice if not grown shall be stolen from neighboring India using Naxals as allies.

Really , just line these fuckers and shoot em all.