A nation so full of contradictions that its hard to imagine the existence of an adhesive that could ever bring 17.5 % of the entire universe’s population together.

As this day dawned on me this morning, the tears from the night before were still fresh, albeit tears of joy, beautiful and bashful.

I finally slept after months, insomnia was passé. The ever-enduring pain was irrelevant; life after eons seemed beautiful.

I come from a family of cricket lovers and none more stauncher than my late father. The year was 1986, I was a wee six year old, still dabbling with my first bat and wondering what the fuss was all about, then came that dreadful evening when Javed Miandad hit Chetan Sharma for a six of the last ball to win the Australasia Cup, what followed next was pure pandemonium, unadulterated and pure, my father in a fit of un paralleled fury smashed the tele with a green marble ashtray (that (in)famous ashtray still rests on his study back home).

I had never seen my father more depressed more broken but its only now, that I can truly understand his pain. It was that autumn evening I realized what cricket was all about, what it meant to that man, a simple man, what it meant to a nation and an entire subcontinent. It meant the World to them and I had just joined that coveted group of fans. Life would never be the same.

It’s a well documented fact that I am nuts about cricket, I have stood outside T.V showrooms for hours at ends watching India play, I have sat in the same positions for what seemed like light years, coz any movement from my end could result in a catastrophic turn of events for the Indian Team, crammed and dying to use the loo, I have endured that pain, Why? There is no ‘why’ to it, it just had to be done, not for myself, but for the team. I once even asked my granny to knit me a powder blue jumper, the color of the Indian jersey. When I grew up I went a step further and painted my room blue, saved my meager pocket money every month so that I could buy a Sportsstar magazine which always carried a poster of a cricketer every month and all those posters were neatly put up in my room, only to be torn that fateful night in 1999 when we unceremoniously lost to Zimbabwe in the World cup.

And now we are at the threshold of History, so magnanimous, so great that words to describe it still haven’t been reduced to the English Dictionary. Most people around me weren’t born in 1983 or were still sucking a thumb, I was barely 3 and don’t remember much, but I do remember by dad running on the streets with me on his shoulders, high on euphoria, high on life, high on the fact that he was a World Champion, could you believe it, every Indian that evening was a World Champion (Goosebumps!!!)

If he was still alive, the old man would have driven himself and the entire neighborhood crazy, but to ensure the tradition isn’t broken I do it all the time here on my blog (how times have changed right?)

Come 2nd April, I for the very first time in the history of my existence will not be watching the final, I will be in a hospital bed hopefully recovering from a much needed surgery, but my thoughts and prayers will be with the Indian team. Despite my absence, I will ensure I play my part, Vikram and Nikhil ill make sure you get a call from my phone before the match and ill request the docs at the hospital to ensure I am wearing blue even in that state of forced comatose, my thoughts will be with the team.

Finally I would like to apologise to my family for making them miss the finals (if I was them I wont have, but thankfully there is only one me in my family), I hope they can catch it live on a tele at the hospital and come the 3rd of April when I finally wake up from my forced slumber I want my hand to be held and told  that we won the World Cup. I will cry I know, I will break down with joy, I will wail, I will never be the same again.

All the Best people…..

Signing off.

As i woke up this morning, i felt, no wait i believed that the time was ripe that we renamed our country and called it SACHIN

INDIA..... TEARS OF JOY.... PURE TEARS OF JOY.... THIS IS WHY WE WERE BORN, TO WITNESS THIS DAY

Breaking News- A special bench of the Supreme Court after hearing an affidavit of urgency filed by Adv Sethi, vide an interim order valid only for 12 hours  legalized euthanasia & decriminalized suicide. Thereby making it easy for thousands of  indian cricket  fans to easily end their lives. The Special Bench while noting the urgency and the state of all the indian fans suffering at the hands of the indian team  also directed the govt counsel to make cyanide freely available at all shops within 2 hrs of the passing of such orders.

Ashwin you can still do us all a favor, run onto the pitch with a knife, stab nehra in his balls, and before anyone can realise whats happening, jump at Dhoni and kill him

This morning i had stated that we had evolved for this, for this very day, but i guess we were just better off being monkeys.

The writing was on the wall, we were all living in denial, making ourselves believe, we will win.  People and their delusional bubbles!

Quarter way through the match, its more than obvious, the Pakis are bowling like there is no tomorrow…

Honestly put all the media hype aside, put aside what my friends said, put aside the nervous energy and the sleepless nights, it was obvious, come the 30^th of March and there would be only one team that would come out trumps!!! And as things stand it seems its going to be Pakistan.

And the worst part, I cant even write no more, the numbness is setting in, its like rigor mortis….

Slowly yet steadily i am slipping into the ebbs of depression and hopelessness, its not been a great year so far, serious ill health, upcoming surgery, and now india losing to pakistan in the semi's.
Life as it stands is full of shyte

4 wickets down, yuvraj gone for a golden duck, and world cup dreams shattered

India X v Pakistan XII, thats bloody unfair, obviously Nehra plays for Pakistan

So the big day is here, and its crazy, India won the toss, and are not playing Ashwin in the XI, and who do we have in the team instead, Nehra , holy shyte!!!
Goodbye world cup

There are only two ways of looking at this, either this wednesday will dawn upon us really fast, and all those with irritable bowel syndromes can finally give their overworked digestive systems a rest or.... time within its realm of relativity will slow down to such an extent that the Coming Wednesday shall never dawn upon us and by the time if it ever does, everyone would have lost interest in it.

Counting Down to the Grand Daddy of all Battles.

Someone once said, its just a game, its an obsession of 22 men running after a piece of leather, that someone was later stabbed in a busy market in Pakistan.

The year was 1996, it was the World Cup Quarter final between India and Pakistan at the Chinnaswamy stadium in Bangalore (I am sorry Bangaluroo, sounds like someone had a crazy banging session in the loo), and the stakes were as high as they could get.

There was shelling at the border that night, every time India or Pakistan lost a wicket, the country losing its wicket would invariably, through its acts of using force almost brought the two nations to war.

It was incredible, it was unbelievable (maybe I am writing this coz India won the match) but being at the stadium that night, the atmosphere was unparalled . Jadeja’s vicious counter attack of Waqar Younis and then who can ever forget the show down between Aamir Sohail and our very own Venky. The bat wagging incident followed by Venky uprooting Sohail’s off stump has gone in the anal’s of cricket history as one of those moments that can only be compared to the conquest of Normandi, to cut this rather long tirade short, it was bloody brilliant!!

Cut to Manchester on a windy day in 1999, India once again played their all too famous foes on a pitch that was supposed to aid seam and swing, thereby giving the naturally talented Pakistan bowlers a huge headstart, but our man Venky did what he had probably never done before, take 5 paksitani wickets to give india an improbable victory. I was on a bus that evening, ipod and mobile phone radios were still many years away from being invented and someone was carrying a good old boom box styled radio, and when Venky got Wasim as the last man out, the scenes on that bus were delirious.

Then came the 1^st of March 2003, the Centurion, a ground known to aid bounce and with Shoiab Akhtar bowling with all those undetected steroids in him, it was going to be murder. I even stopped watching the match when india started batting, I had locked my self in a room and only came out when I heard my roommates behaving like junkies discovering the biggest cache of ganja ever. However one man (if I can still call him that) had different ideas,  Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar came out like a Torpedo honed in on its hapless victims ( read Pakistan) and square cut Pakistan over third man to take india to a brilliantly charged victory.

2007 was a farce, on that dreadful evening on the 18^th of March both India and Pakistan got knocked out of the world cup losing to Bangladesh and Ireland respectively. It was a disaster; never had one fathomed the occurrence of such an event. The results were calamitous, Woolmer was murdered (honestly I think the coroner’s final report on the result of death was our very own equivalent of used toilet paper), Greg Chappell was axed albeit rightfully, and bothIndian and Pakistani cricket was at its lowest ebbs. Even God wasn’t spared and given his fair share of dishing. It was all too depressing.

Its true to say that India has never lost to Pakistan in a World Cup, however between 2003 and 2011, India and Pakistan have met twice at ICC events, ie the 2004 and 2009 Champions and were convincingly defeated.

Leading up to this World cup, both India and Pakistan had rather contrasting buildups. India were ranked 2^nd and were looking rather strong, whereas Pakistan was battling allegations of spot fixing and internal feuds between the teams.

However now as we stand at the threshold of the grand daddy of all matches at this world cup, historical purviews suddenly have no relevance, it all comes down to who turns with his game on, on the 30^th of March.

Its India’s batting against Pakistan’s bowling, Its Sachin v Umar, its Shewag v Ajmal and Yuvraj v Shahid.

Honestly its all too nerve wrecking. To put things into perspective, I was scheduled for a major surgery on the day of the match, which now has rescheduled owing to the match.

The country is drenched in a orgasmic euphoria of expectations, both the countries shall come to stand still, roads will be empty, offices will be forced to shut down, coz come this Wednesday, everyone is going to be on a sick leave or unavailable.

The Blame Game

So the blame game begins, who do we blame for this loss? At the outset I blame myself, yes I was one of the reasons India lost this match and then this World Cup, its my fault I put so much faith in this team and thereby inadvertently put them under immense pressure.

Moving on I blame Saskshi and the Gharwali community for helping Dhoni get married and thereby losing his once overtly famous Mojo.

While I am at it, I blame Ashish Nehra, you must think its the last over against SA? No you are mistaken, to go to the bottom of this one has to go back a long way, when Ashish Nehra came back into the team in 2009, he had, to avoid his long and unfortunate spate of injuries taken a conscious decision to stop fornicating, after all someone like Nehra used to even injure himself during those unfortunate acts of fornication. All went well for a very long time, Nehra had his Mojo in place, he was bowling well and surprisingly not getting injured, till this unfortunate afternoon in September 2010, Nehra set aside his vow and obviously got injured, rest is history. He came back but by then lost his rhythm, thereby I blame him and his acts of fornication.

Further still I blame Vikram Huligol, who refused to answer my call this afternoon, thereby breaking a tradition, which was started on the day India played a practice match against the Aussies and beat them hollow.

I even blame the coin they used at the toss, how dare it fall against india, the person who minted that coin should be sent to the gallows forthwith and without fail.

Also I blame Karan Goswami, who came over to my place to watch the match, despite his knowledge that the last time he watched a match at my place, India lost to Pakistan in the 2009 Champions Trophy.

Finally, I blame the English for ever inventing this game, had you guys just gone around stealing diomands and kohinoors  rather than inventing games, India would have never lost this match

The morning after, the morning after India got knocked out of the world cup, the sun did rise, but it wasn’t all that bright, the birds did chirp, but they weren’t all that loud, the cool breeze still swept across the city, but it still wasn’t that comfortable.

The morning after, life still went on, but it wasn’t the same, there was a deep underlying abysmal feeling, it was overpowering and heart wrenching.

The morning newspaper was duly burnt, there was no point reading it, or even acknowledging its existence. The ashes were then slowly carried away by the wind. Like a billion dreams that were shattered, the ashes cried out while the wind carried it away into the abyss.

The tears from the night before were still fresh, the pain was still sharp but life as it stood, still had to go on.

I just have to keep telling my self, Life will go on!!

From the deepest ebbs of my heart i hate to say this, but  Ricky Ponting just took the World cup away from India, YET again

The curious case of batting power-plays, when india takes it they ensure the other team wins the match and when the opposing teams take it, they are more than happy to give the match away on a platter

Ricky the Bush look alike Ponting yet again takes a world cup game from India...

This match has given me a migraine, so am sitting in front of the telly popping pills and hoping that with Sachin bowling now, india could get a few more wickets....

Ok so the writing is on the wall, the Aussies won the toss and now shall bat india out of this game.
I am reaching a point where i am beginning to hate cricket.
Also while the anthems ring out, memories of March 23rd 2003 come flooding back.

The ghosts of 2003 still haunt the indian team, honestly even though i would love to see the aussies get trashed tonight but i know its not going to happen, a lot of people have asked me if we will win tonight and all i have to say to them is
'When was the last time india beat the aussies in a world cup? do you even remember? it was the 28th of october 1987, it was diwali and i was in 3rd grade, its been 24  long years, you think i dont want this? i want as bad as anyone out there, but then again i am being practical, we dont have a bowling attack, shewag is not playing, our batting loves to crumble, our captain is on low grade ganja ever since he married that gharwali, so dude where is the hope?"

West Indian cricket died with the retirement of Richards and Marshall, a lot would then pose a question about Lara's emergence and his presence in the team ? And my answer would be -he was just an aberration, an interim relief if one can say so.

So just as the first Qf kicked off between Pakistan and the West Indies, the result was a forgone conclusion however the ever optimists' i am sure felt with Gayle and Pollard anything could happen!!

At 72 for 8 in 29 overs, this is most disappointing performance one could have expected from the Windies, at some level i do feel that maybe the Bangla tigers would have been better opponents  to the crazy Pakis, especially with the fact that match was hosted at Mirpur.
As disappointing as it can get.

So where do the Windies go from here? Home obviously, but....
Firstly Sammy needs to step down as the captain, he just doesnt fit the bill, secondly and more importantly someone needs to sit Chris down and get some sense into his Predator look alike brains and maybe just maybe hand him back the Captaincy.
Finally the Board needs to step in and look into the restructuring the entire cricketing scenario right from the school levels, encouraging more kids to play cricket rather than get poached by those Basketball agents.
Sad state of affairs.

" Every day the future looks a wee bit darker, but the past, even the grimy parts of it keep on getting brighter..."

Anger is relative, it has no boundaries, its beautifully self consuming, sometimes and just sometimes it gives you a reason to live, a reason to smile, a reason to fight, a reason to stand up for one's rights.
I spent the whole of last night plotting, planning and reading, i lay awake in my study, smoking endlessly, the pain was eased by the anger ( nerve relaxants helped too).
By the time the sun rose over Delhi i was ready, and round two was put into place.
I am not giving in without a fight, not this time.

Ill take a moment, just a small one while i am at it, a moment which gave me a new reason to live, a new reason to fight, a reason which made me so mad i broke a macbook and another blackberry, a moment so angsty i almost imploded, like a black hole i stood there burning within, sucking in all in its path.
It couldnt be happening to me, getting fucked over by fine print!!! My insurance company had swindled its way out, a way where they wont have to pay for my uber expensive surgery.
But they forgot, fine print is like a double edged sword, it has the potential of of destroying both the author and its victim.
Thanks to all those years of being trained as a lawyer where you are taught not only to fuck the fucker but also fuck WITH  the fucker, if you can permit me to say so, thankfully i just found that one sub clause which has the potential to suck in that insurance company into this beautiful black hole i have created.

Dear Insurance company, I am coming after you, lock stock and all my smoking barrels, if you can try and fuck me with fine print, then SO CAN I!!

Longing to Belong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI4KypyxQ5s

Thank you Eddie

Some great news
http://www.pearljam.com/news/new-eddie-vedder-record-and-dvd-coming-may-31

With every spring, comes the flaming red flowers of the Seemal tree. Delhi looks different, Delhi looks vibrant.

For the last two years i have been dying to shoot the Seemal trees of Delhi, but last year i was in the US shooting the Grand Canyons and this year i have been laid low by screwed shoulder and neck.

Even though i did manage one decent picture of the flaming flowers but the shot i am looking for might have to wait another year.

Monday morning's are dreary as always, a week to go before i come under the surgeons knife and have silicon implants in my spine (which makes me the butt of all jokes these days), i was hoping to find the newspaper to read (always a good thing after an indian victory and something thats been rather rare over the past 3 weeks) i was rudely reminded that we get no newspapers the day after Holi.

Just had to make do with all the online news.

Further as i sat in my patio sipping my coffee, i couldnt help but think, how different the neighborhood looked.  In Delhi’s spring, leaves fall instead, heralding the coming of summer when the water will be scarce and sandstorms from Rajasthan will be a daily occurrence.  

The street across my house looked strangely enchanting with all those leaves strewn around and the wind playing with them.

It hurts to love cricket these days, it hurts to watch the Indian team play like bunnies with a carrot up their arse, it hurts to imagine Sachin bidding adieu to the game without winning the world cup.

Long before the world cup started, the Indians were slated as the favorites and rightfully so. They were playing at home; they were coming into the world cup with a lot of form behind them, beating the best teams and showing great promise.

But a month into the Cup, their bowling looks in complete disarray and their batsmen seem to have been inspired by the Kamikaze soldiers from the 2^nd World War.

A near disaster against England, a farce against the Dutch and a disaster against the Proteas is how you can sum up India’s world cup campaign so far.

If that wasn’t all, the Windies are on the verge of taking the wind out of this Indian team tonight.

Its all too sad, its all too heart wrenching to watch.

I want to personally thank the Indian Cricket team for ensuring that i start smoking again!! 47 days down the drain..

This is deja vu, as mentioned three weeks ago, this world cup is killing me.

There is only one man in the indian team that wants to win this world cup, the rest seem to be seriously high on low grade ganja. Seriously fuck you all!!!

Its true, the Indian team somewhere over the last month lost its Mojo!!! Yet again they are looking down the barrel after a decently good start.
Loosing wickets like nine pins has become a habit.
Disappointing day in the office yet again

And while India struggle (or so it might seem) against the once Mighty West Indies at the cauldron they call Chepauk in the land of the idli and the dosa, i cant help but acknowledge the efforts of one, Steven Tikolo.
The poor man's Vivian Richards, the former captain of the once threatening to be almost mighty Kenyans.

His World cup debut 50 against India at Cuttack in 1996 was as good an innings a Kenyan could muster. Unfortunately he has been and shall remain the only bright light in short and slightly morbid Kenyan Cricket history.

Thanks to ICC's policy to relegate the associates like Kenya into mothball rolled trunks its hard to imagine if we will ever see the likes of Kenya or Tikolo lighting up another World Cup.
Steve Tikolo- Take a Bow.

Its been a month and a half since i last smoked, but honestly every now and then the urge to smoke is way too over powering.
The current instance being right now, i am so dying to smoke, its incredible!!
Lets hope i can go through the night without giving into the urge.

There is no greater joy than watching the Aussies lose but ... but...watching Pakistan win is even worse!!! 
What a dilemma...

If Australia maintain their unbeaten run, while West Indies lose against India just as Bangladesh look to be doing against South Africa, the quarter-finals could be as follows.
Australia v West Indies in Dhaka; India v New Zealand in Ahmedabad; Pakistan v South Africa in Dhaka, and England v Sri Lanka in Colombo

Anyways with me showing no signs of recovering and India showing no signs of winning this Cup, i have in consultation with my doctors scheduled my surgery for the 29th of March. In a lot of ways i am glad that ill be passed out, cut open and oblivious to my surroundings while India loses the Cup.
However as things stand i am scared that they might not even make it to the Quarters...

Thank you Irish for your spirited cricket, this World Cup around!!

England o' England - How you light up this Cup

As I stay tuned to tonight’s super important match between England and the once Mighty Windies' I cant help but think of England’s whirlwind campaign this time around.

Its been incredible, its been farcical, its been nervy, its been everything a cricket scribe could ask for and more.

Its mind numbing to think that it actually almost came down to Mr Trott’s shirt. Who would have thought that Mr Trott’s slightly over sized shirt could (almost) be their ticket back home (which they anyways have been threatening to do right from the word go)

A painful hernia, an opening swing bowler who forgot the meaning of the word swing, a brilliant side strain,  a tie that should have been nothing but a victory, a victory against the Proteas which was nothing but the latter choking, an Irish whipping and the Bangla dew . Name it and we have seen it.

This England team has been crazy, blame the Ashes , blame the weather, the food, the injuries, but this World cup would have been boring as hell if it wasn’t for them.

Edge of the seat stuff, I do feel for Struass, he does have a mighty heart.

However as I write this, Windies need 21 to win of 42 balls and by getting Russell’s and Sarwan’s wicket they are yet again turning the match on its head.

Holy Crap!!! Prove me wrong and how!!!

England o England….  How  did you manage to pull this off yet AGAIN?

News about Japan, just distresses me no end, its heart wrenching.
First the earthquake, then the tsunami and now the radiation leak.
Please cmon let this all end soon.

'23' plays while i sip on some chilean wine on a patio with distant thoughts of friends lost play through my head.

Thats it then, the much dreaded yet awaited surgery has been confirmed for next week. I have rather mixed feelings to be honest...

The good ol days are back, the days where Indians mastered the art of grabbing defeat from the jaws of victory, days where the team revolved around Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.

This evening  (cant believe I am saying this) but india deserved to lose. They had no business  throwing  away their last 9 wickets for 29 runs and the captain further had no business giving the last over to Ashish Nehra. How could he, especially when Bhajji had an over up his sleeve,  SHOCKING!!!!

 Few things we need to get straight, Sachin alone cant win us the Cup, Dhoni needs to start thinking straight, I am not sure what he is smoking these days, but it surely aint good stuff and finally India should donate Chawla and Nehra to Pakistan, we as a country are so much better without them.

Ah well, from a position of great strength the indian does what it has always done best, losing 9 wickets for  29 runs after Lord Sachin scored a sublime century...
Thank you indian cricket team for screwing my evening and how!!!!

India playing SA this afternoon, and i am shitting bricks, from the face of it, i think Dale the destructive Steyn and Mornie the marauding  Morkel will blow us away...

I am not a freaking guinea pig!!!! " lets rub some green leaves on your neck and the pain shall vanish"- Who the fuck are these doctors kidding!!!! Ayurveda up my arse

My prayers go out to the people of Japan, really really heart wrenching news.  

Walking through the sands of time, Victoria Terminal Bombay 

Honestly i hate the month of March, taxes to be paid, returns to be filed, all those expenses, Lord am i broke or what this Month?
Only 4 shoots so far and all those bills to pay!!!
Crazy crazy state of existence these days

Anyways government apart,  i did go for the india v netherlands match at the Kotla yesterday, honestly i had no plans to attend the said match, but then the thought of watching Lord Sachin bat live in a one day international for the last time was too tempting.
Aching back, neck and shoulder apart,  i drove up to the stadium with no ticket, desperately  in search of either a poor soul who could have a spare ticket or a black marketer who would sell me one at an unjustified price.
Luckily for me i found the former and got a great seat in the north stand.

At the end of it, and after watching Sachin bat for 45 mins i told myself- "this is it- i can now die"

So now the government wants to monitor all blogs in india, wow!!! where are we heading? Another Libya? another Egypt? what the hell is wrong with this government?
What about freedom of speech? expression? democracy?
Fuck this government
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Govt-proposal-to-muzzle-bloggers-sparks-outcry/articleshow/7668026.cms

Its a weird state to be me these days, i am quite fucked in the head to be honest, i cant describe it, but the closest word i can find to describe my state of being is NUMB.
So i was home this weekend, put through a hoard of tests including but not limited to an MRI, which revealed my neck read C 4 and C5 were in a terrible state and need to be either removed or replaced.
Which entails a major surgery, something i have been avoiding for a long time, but i guess its inevitable now.

Wow what a match last night, Irish creamed the English!!! Watch out India and well the Canadians had such a great chance of beating those Pakis, but sighh!!!, Afridi the mountain stood between the Canadians and an improbable victory.
Anyways am off to Doon tomorrow after a long long time, an MRI, a wedding and lectures from the mother await me..

By the way, i am rooting for the Irish against the English tonight, even though the chances are bleak (despite Kevin O Brien's blitz), but who knows, anything is possible in the game of cricket

Ah well, so it took me a while to get over Sunday, crazy match on a crazy pitch. Anyways March came with a bang, two shoots in two days, pretty darn long and tiring.
The neck and shoulder still havent healed but i guess i need to keep shooting a bit.
Also in all likelihood i am heading to Doon over the weekend for a childhood friend's wedding.
Slightly torn about going home, on one hand i really want to go and on the other, i am just not well enough to travel.