At a lot of levels i do believe commercialization of one's interests and passions tends to kill the creativity.
I guess i just need to step out and take some random pictures. That should appease the soul.
Anyways heading for the shoot....

And the greasy insomnia returns, despite the work out sessions i still cant sleep AGAIN!!!.
Anyways have a dead boring shoot tomorrow, mind numbing and totally uneventful shoot at the Press Club... sighhh

Finally the monsoons are here, i woke up the past Sunday morning to the much awaited rain, though it hasnt been brilliant so far, but its still pretty decent. How i just love the rains ....

Anyways have been rather caught up the past week, working on the studio, painted the walls, now building the arch domes and the kino flows.

Also got an i-7 imac just for working on my photographs, gave away the old imac and upgraded to this bulldozer of a machine, 8gb ram and a 2 Tb HD bloody brilliant.
Even managed to wirelessly hook it up to the camera.
Getting there slow...

Btw where are the rains?

Battle against the bulge has entered its 3rd day, decent work out sessions ( still stiff and scared about the neck) are followed by a pure Cabbage and tomato diet (GROSS!!) I feel like a freaking cow!!.
Hopefully can move to a pure protein diet by next week

A great photoessay
http://www.robinhammond.co.uk/features/the-price-of-gold/

Shot this last week in Goa, just when we got to see the darker side of the moon

Spent last evening with an old friend from law school, a local, bearded and pot bellied. Drank copious amounts of port and fenny at this really authentic goan eatery called florentine. The chicken kafriyal was to kill for. Florentine is a must visit for any one looking for authentic goan food.
Quite a lot was discussed over dinner, right from corruption in the legal system to the history of goan culture and the eventual yet inevitable accession ( read invasion) of goa by the Russians.

So all while I passed my check-in baggage through security I was yet again asked to unpack me bags for inspection and I was questioned if I wanted to open a goan shack in delhi. Don't really blame them. With all those packs of authentic goan spices in my bag any one would have been astounded. Spent a mini fortune yesterday at newtons super Market ( you have to just love the names here). But I guess my favourite is lobo's. I'm quite a sucker when it comes to a Lobo's, be it a bar by the road, Or a shack by the bay, I have to always visit a Lobo's.
But a Gupta's tattoo bar or a pandeys prawn grill are a dead no!!
Dead funny

As I mentioned it's rather important to get away from the mundane at times to seek clarity. But strange things are known to happen to men who walk away to seek the much sought after clarity. The same can be said about me at a lot of levels.
I came here to find answers but I walk away still unsure and burdened with more questions, answers to which only time shall tell.
Yes I am in a lot of ways in a better state of mind, a lot better than what I have been in a long time, and that might help me going for a bit. But eventually those all important answers need to be sought. Time shall come to me rescue.

Goa airport is nostalgia in overdrive. It brings back memories of the 80's where airports resembled train stations but just a wee but cleaner, however dambolin somehow managed to even destroy that notion, just had a big arse bandicoot scurry past me legs.
Such a far cry from what we are used to seeing these days.
This is bloody brilliant

The sad truth, only fuckers fly Air India and bigger fuckers like me fly with them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra5nTlty6CM

Bloody Fucking Beautiful...

Finally rode to a beach this evening, the choppy sea, the shades of grey, the sparse tourists (albeit all gujjus), me and my ipod.
Smoked a few cigs and maybe even a joint. Drank some fenny, just cos i had to do it!!!

And od'ed on Aik Alif- the song from West is West, with pretty strong lyrics-

"jo na jane hak ke takat, rabb na dewae usko himmat"

A five hour lesson in commercial photography, it's 2 am and we are sitting here drinking baileys by the bottle and discussing composition and lighting. Rather educative to say the least.
Have a long long way to go, poor Bahadur will have to be a patient subject for days once I get back

Pork vindaloo at britto's , the choppy sea and an education on kino flo's . Couldn't ask for a better evening.
So yea life will revolve around building a kino flo lighting system when I get back to delhi.

I am officially leading a retired life in Goa and loving it. Havent even been to the beach once, bloody brilliant, just the coconut trees, me and the overlooking church.

Sitting by Salegaon church, sipping ons some scotch, watching the moon play hide and seek with the clouds, i seem to have left behind all the pain and the agony which have been an integral part of me for such a long time.
If this is a dream no one dare wake me.

Spoke with my doctor this morning and discussed my travel issues, and convinced him that i really needed to get out of Delhi. So here i am taking the first flight out tomorrow morning to Goa, the beaches and the monsoon awaits my arrival

Goa here i come!!! 

Music is sometimes essential to cleanse the mind, the soul and the overtly cluttered thought process. Pearl Jam comes to the rescue.

Playlist for the afternoon

1. Release me

2. Lowlight

3. Garden

4. Longing to Belong

5. Elderly Woman behind a counter in a small town ( on repeat for 30 mins)

6. Immortality

7. Nothingman - Live on two legs version

8. Hunger strike

9. Light years
10 Sleight of hand
11. Unthought known
12. Amongst the waves

June has been quite a mixed bag so far, had a couple of great shoots, why cant all clients be like them. Thankfully paid for a lot of bills.

Anyways life still rambles along, at some levels slowly this thought is settling in that my back and neck will never really be pain free. I am hoping otherwise but i dont see how thats going to happen. Its been more than tough, its been distressing to say the least. Yes you can learn to live with pain, but its always at the back of your mind.

Also at a lot of levels i do realize that i need a holiday, but i cant travel. I am not allowed to take a flight, be on a train or drive for long distances, so here i am stuck in delhi, which is at a lot of levels driving me mad.

I am not but a sleepless malice....

June o' June..