I do remember the first time I put a smoking pipe to my lips, I was a wee kid going through my dad’s study, my dad by then had quit smoking, and the pipe was a relic of his exuberant past. It tasted different, but it felt good.

Many moons later, and this is after I had been smoking a cigarette for a few years I decided to buy my self a pipe, back then I hardly earned and investing in a pipe was an uphill task. Despite the odds, I ended up buying myself a beautiful walnut wood pipe.

Life was different, smoking a pipe was an art and I am not sure if I ever got it right, but it was an experience unparalleled. Unfortunately, a few years back a flat mate in Glasgow sat on my pipe and thereby rendered it useless.
I never got around to buying one again, there were many a reasons, I never found a walnut wood pipe and I never gave it top priority, cigarettes got me by just fine.

Till this afternoon, when I was walking in Lyon, a chanced upon a shop dealing with the best pipes I had ever seen, and after much deliberation I did end up buying one.

So it feels good to be a pipe smoker again

If being me is not enough, I have forces around me to make sure they add spice to my overtly colorful life.

Just this afternoon, I was sitting in my office at the UN, when I heard screams of my boss, frantic blood curdling screams, I was shocked, images of blood and death were writ large, I ran out only to realize that she had managed to lock herself in the loo.

Despite my assuring her that we would get her out she kept screaming, first in rage and then in anguish, I tried everything, from jimmying the lock to pushing the door, but nothing worked, till finally I had to call the security who carried out a major ( hardly) rescue operation to get the boss out

What an afternoon at the Palais Des Nations

Come to think of it, I am on the verge of completing two years at this job!!! Wow, never thought I’d last a month, forget two years.
Its been a long and tiresome journey, more than anything else, I am more fucked in the head than I have ever been.

Have lost my peace of mind, have maybe even lost my self, but its been a learning experience.

What next? I am not sure, the only thing I do know is that after working here and surviving the two years, I am sure I can work under anyone, even Hitler himself, but then again after this I’d rather start my own practice, than be someone’s slave

You have to be within a system to realize the rot. Even though I cant say much, I must add that I am appalled by the way this system works, everyday I find people protesting outside the UN, till yesterday it was the Palestinians, and today they were joined in by the Sri Lankan Tamils, who have gone on an indefinite hunger strike protesting the killings of over 300 Tamils in the last 24 hours.

I really wish someone here would take cognizance of these mass human rights violations. If not then I am left with no other option but to call for a shut down of this system.

What’s the point of having a system that doesn’t work?

There i was in the middle of nowhere, just me the snow and the wilderness, not a soul in sight, just the zephyr me and my ipod, and i couldnt stop listening to eddie vedder's solo single from the moive- into the wild.
The lyrics were perfect and apt for the moment.

The same are produced below

Oh it's a mystery to me.
We have a greed, with which we have agreed...
and you think you have to want more than you need...
until you have it all, you won't be free.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

When you want more than you have, you think you need...
and when you think more then you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.
I think I need to find a bigger place...
cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

There's those thinkin' more or less, less is more,
but if less is more, how you keepin' score?
It means for every point you make, your level drops.
Kinda like you're startin' from the top...
and you can't do that.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me
Society, have mercy on me.
I hope you're not angry, if I disagree.
Society, crazy indeed.
I hope you're not lonely...
without me.

Obama the Messiah?

Obama Tee shirts, Obama pizzas, pens, cups, mugs, trousers, clothesline, what next obama condoms?

You never know, with the craze that surrounds the newly elected president of the biggest bully (read America) anything is possible.

The word change rings out and is synonymous with the word Obama, but really will anything change. The cynic within is desperate to shout out NO, but for the sake of all the euphoria and optimism for once I’d rather wait and watch than condemn Obama and his bullies.

But for the while I think we (read the media and the hype generators) should just let the man do his job or at least pretend he is at it, rather than make his every action an act of public importance.

Give me and Obama a break!!!

Fuck Moral Policing, Fuck Jehad

Sitting far away from reality, stuck with this farcical form of fighting human rights violations miles away from home, I cant help but despise the acts of the so called moral police, the hindu right wingers, who will stoop to any level to find themselves a wee space on the national news.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Pub_attack_17_held_Ram_Sena_unapologetic/articleshow/4033150.cms

Attacking women coz they were out drinking in a pub? I am ashamed to be a hindu, I am ashamed to be associated with any religion, I am ashamed to be human.

If its not the terror attacks it’s the moral police, whatever happened to live and let live?
Is this what Allah and Ram had envisaged?

Is this what they call life where one community cant get enough of blowing people to smithereens and the other community cant stop its farcical moral policing, its ok to physically assault women who are out enjoying them selves in a pub but its not ok if the common citizen wants to lead a life as per his/ her wishes.

I spit on religion, I spit on this moral policing and the never ending jehad, I spit on what we humans have reduced our selves to
Fuck you all.

Quote of the day

We are not wrong, it is not our fault, blame the Russians….

The Armenian Govt delegate, when questioned about the Human rights standards in Armenia in 2006-07

NOTES for SELF

Welcome to the real world,

All while people die around you, and violations of rights becomes a norm the upholders of those very rights spend millions of euros and hours fighting over who the next chairperson of a treaty body would be… WHAT SHYTE

Looking at life through the eyes of a tired hub eating her indignations as a pastime activity, the noxiousity of her mind.

More wood for the fires, more fuel for the deranged soul, flashlight riveries caught in the headlights of a truck, eating her shyte as a pastime activity, the toxicity of her existence….

Just another image that said a lot...

Stuck....

The rain refuses to abate, I would rather have it snow, but the relentless downpour confines us to our rooms, there is no outlet, locked and over worked on a Sunday afternoon is the call for the hour

A passing thought for the day-

There is no such thing as a free lunch and more than often you end up paying with your sanity

As this day dawned I wondered why I woke up? Sunday morning and I had to be up by 7, the thoughts of lazing in bed till noon were quickly washed away like a torrent.
She was up, and sharpening her knives, by the time I found my self standing at her door, the knives were sharp enough to cut through metal.
I wonder what it was? Was it the food I cooked for her last night? Something was amiss this morning, sanity was passé.

You can on most occasions sense danger, when faced with, this morning I knew it was real, with less than 24 hours till D day, all hell was slowly but surely breaking lose.

Midnight urge for booze

So here I am and its near midnight, I cant buy booze of a rack here coz the darn swiss don’t sell booze after 9 pm, its fucking worse than delhi, and a lot of other places I have found myself stranded in...

Thankfully there is a (almost) friendly neighborhood bar to quench my thirst at. I must point they don’t serve my poison of choice, the good ol scotch, but they do have unlimited quantities of beer ( yuck)

So its me and a pint of Carlsberg, the good thing – you can smoke in the bar, all those anti tobacco campaigners can go and fuck them selves as I write this. The joys of smoking over a drink are unparallel, its close to an orgasm, its better than life itself. and considering the same why would you waste your time banning smoking in pubs all at our expense? why?

And if I do get cancer, its my life, and all that shyte about second hand smoke, too bad you guys can still fuck your selves

abstract is the mind!!!

The skies are grey and laden, the wind is cold and lonely, the mind it wanders, untouched yet scathed by the unseen.
Nick drake croons in the distance.” Autumn leaves and winter skies….”
This and more tries to reopen the wounds once healed, the scars they crave for your attention.
The lake and its shimmering lights beg to be touched, the fog engulfs your existence.
You are reduced to a slave, a victim of the joys of one’s dreams once unfulfilled.

A walk through the flea market in Geneve

Abstract is the mind, abstract are the thoughts, lost you stand in the middle of nowhere, the sun shines through the clouds, bizarre is this bubble, no one speaks your language, you smell the sweet smell of marijuana, it plays around with your senses, you seek it out, you chase it, you need it to fight the misery.

Treasures from around the world reach out to you, the broken used smoking pipes, the junk jewels once donned by the fortunate few, the caravan selling its wee delights.

The old men, the older women, their ancient robes and their treasures all up for sale.

An anti war procession outside the UN

We live in a bubble, we pay our taxes ( atleast some of us) we work hard ( atleast most of us) to earn our bread ( which is generally stale) and sometimes even the butter ( which I stay away from), we as a race are selfish and self obsessed.
Its always all about us, me, I, our wants, our desires, our miseries, and I aint no different, I am the same shyte that walks this face of this earth.
We all live in denial, the blood that is shed around us affects us for not more than a few minutes and after which we just push it to the back of our minds, trying our best to forget it ever happened.

Why do I state what I state? I don’t know, is it the war in Gaza? Possible, is it the death of those children whose bodies were found cold and bloodied by the bullets and rockets of Israel and the US?

I wish I had an answer to the queries’ posed, but I was affected when I saw the procession of people who stood outside the UN building urging the UN to stop the bloodshed, stop the senseless killing.

It was all too cold and impersonal, the saviors and the upholders of our human rights meanwhile just sat in their plush offices and sipped on their expensive coffee, while hundreds died and suffered in the Gaza and many more stood outside the Palas des Nations screaming their selves hoarse.

Notes to self...

Gaga Yogi to the rescue

In the words of the gaga yogi- nothingness is everywhere, its reddish in color and very heavy.

Heavy yes, I can agree with, I am surrounded with nothingness and it all feels rather heavy to say the least.

This is a strange world, Paulo Cohelo was wrong when he said, if you want something bad the whole universe connives to make sure you get it.

Partially but incorrect assessment of the power of the universe, the problem is when you want something really bad, the world does connives but by the time you do get what you wanted, you just don’t care for it no more.
The United Nations was the epitome of my wants, my desires my needs and my dreams, but being brown doesn’t always help, people less qualified and far less colored beat you to it.

It happened to me, and by the end of it I didn’t care a flying fuck for the UN or its unadulterated beauracracy and discrimination.

So when it finally did happen, I found my self-sitting at the back of my office smoking a cheap cig and wondering why? Why? What did I do to literally deserve this.

All said and done I am in Geneva now, .., and to say the least I am not sure If I am enjoying any bit of it.

All I know is by the time the sun sets on this endeavor, I would have changed for ever and for the worse

If we wonder what happiness entails, then look around and you will find it, just today a friend over chat told me she was happy and content, that made me happy.
Cant ask for more.