Milk, Middle class and Mayhem.

 The show must go on, a shining India is nothing but a paradox. A society so desperate to break free from the self imposed shackles that its lost in the very abyss created by the cultural conflicts its extremely proud off.

 Like a movie shot in grainy monochrome suddenly gone HD in Technicolor we are a desperate lot, striving to compete with the West as we understand it.

 Its no longer about the Maharajas and the elephants, but about the Tommy Hilfiger’s and the Nike’s.

 A never-ending competition, a never-ending battle, the shining Indian middle class single handedly constantly strives to take on the west.

 The opening of the economy in the early 90’s brought with it a rainbow, like the breaking down of the Berlin wall and the collapse of the erstwhile Soviet Union, the Indian middle class rose to dizzy heights of confusion and abysmal lack of identity.

 Who are we? Really? An English speaking colonially hung over society? The Raj might have been passé but the Raj within is still very much alive.

 We are proud of our culture, we are proud of our Kamasutra but we are ashamed of acknowledging that sex is not just for procreation.

The Indian middle class no longer serenades around trees and flowers don’t mysteriously appear when lovers decide to lock lips. We are now bashful, proud and horny.The Average Indian middle class male is the new Sex God, the potbelly is the new six-pack and we are proud of it.

The Indian middle class has been taught that slavery was abolished by Gandhi but ironically its now enslaved by the Corporates that suck the very life out of it.

In the process we are now a culturally displaced society, so alien are our very own cultures that Gandhi could have been a pot smoking rock star playing B minor at 4 consecutive concerts and no one would have known. After all Che Gruvera wasn’t a revolutionary, but a Tee sold in Lajpat Nagar for 100 rupees.

Strange times these, we strive, but for what?  Tighter fitting skinnes?

Virtues are only for the farmers committing suicide down south, all while the Indian middle class ‘shines’.

Children no longer play in parks, families no longer dine at neighborhood Udipis and Mc Donald’s is the new Roti. We are the new middle class!!

We are a beautiful lot, so obsessed with fairness creams that the entire Somalian per capita income is spent by a single middle class family to achieve the ultimate goal of fairness.

 We are after all a very fair society, where the ever-struggling middle class bridges the gap between the rich and the poor.

 We are also a society deep in debt, while the poor struggle to feed the many mouths they created, the middle class struggles to pay off its credit card bills which reached astronomical heights trading Rotis, with Pizzas and dhotis with jeans.

We all roll are R’s and Arnold replaced Hanuman once Terminator 3 hit theaters.

Christmas is the new Diwali and Valentine’s Day is the only way the middle class is capable of expressing its love.

Also Wine is nothing but stale grape juice and beer is the new milk.

 Whatever happened to the 70’s and the 80’s? Whatever happened to the hard working middle class striving for comforts and not enslaved by luxuries.

 Whatever happened to the good ol’ Roti?  A middle class that dined out once a month, and ate meat only to celebrate an unforgettable occasion?

 A middle class that was proud of its virtues, a middle class  that taught its children never to waste food. A middle class that could afford to buy its children toys only on their birthdays?

 Gone are the days when the middle class proudly spent 5 rupees on a haircut and a shave only on a Sunday at a neighborhood saloon and pedicures and manicures were for aliens from a distant Galaxy some 37 light years from earth.

 Gone are the days when Lux was the only soap and Nirma detergent was the color of India.

 Gone are the days when Lord Ram had the power to bring an entire nation to a stand still for an entire hour every Sunday morning.

 The middle class is now a pretentious rebellious mob, everything is “cool” and everyone is a “dude”. Where Anna is the new Gandhi and fighting Corruption is the new freedom struggle only because it has the potential to get you laid!

 The Taj Mahal is no longer a symbol of love but a gimmick to rape the pockets of the West.

 We steal, we cheat, we lie, we bribe, and we ensure that no matter what happens and no matter what we evolve into THIS SHOW MUST GO ON!!