The Second Coming ..... Awesaliciousfuckingsome.!!!!

So here I am… hung the fuck over after a night of debauchery( 34 hours of non stop drinking) and trust me for the first time in my life the hang over doesn’t feel all that bad… it’s a freedom ( a relative concept) construed in a twisted perspective. But hey I am not complaining… I am just glad the hell is almost over…I mean really ….I have said this before and it feels pertinent to state it again, exams are like crimes against humanity and as stated by William Schabas the definition of the said crime just implies to what a human being has to suffer and endure during an exam.
To start with, the mental stress and add to that the health hazards that seems to entwine itself around your existence during those hellish days. A friend of mine in Brisbane even suggested a special health insurance just for the exams, and I really wish I had that insurance in a retrospective perspective and I can prove the same.

It all started around a month back (right after summer school) when I actually got down to studying ( and I hated it, every bit of it) now apart from being confined to my room and being stuck with books which had an adverse affect to my general well being and especially my already screwed eyes, coupled with my constant migraines, I managed to burn my self 6 times… ya don’t be shocked, 6 fuckin times… and the pain was unimaginable. Now ya must be wondering, what the hell.. how does someone burn him self six times… well really it’s the exams… a constant( yet evil) distraction, where once while reading the aspects of retributive justice( the functioning of the ad hoc tribunals) and cooking my self some baked beans (well cant really call opening a can of the same and heating them in a pan as cooking but what the hell I am construing it liberally) I somewhere during this audacious task I happened to drop hot boiling beans on my foot.. Ouch…trust me I spent the next hour with my foot stuck under the cold shower( now now don’t construe the cold shower bit liberally… just a literal construction of the same would suffice).

If you think that was bad well read on… 4 days before my first exam I was at my study and going over the affects of Globalization( fuck it really) when I passed out with a cig in my hand, now you don’t need to be a member of MENSA to figure out what happened next.. But it was painful as hell (the scar looks cool though) and last but not the least…. When under the affects of excessive education I happened to spill hot boiling oil on my forearm, trust me that was the worse… and this time the scars were ugly….now only if I had medical insurance I would at least be a lill richer ( more money for alcohol and cig’s)

Despite all this I am still alive and it only seems pertinent to acknowledge the support of a few spread across the globe, coz without them I would never have been able to write those exams or be alive.

A special thanks to my conservative right winger classmate Shane…(captain pink) who kept me company during those longs hours of revision and even tolerated my few but frequent tantrums.(and those pink shirts….my only source of color)

To Divya( my pillar of support) who kept me company on line when everyone else would give up and walk out on me (a big hug)

To Melissa who sent me music all the way from Brisbane (bloody pirate) and kept me alive and awake. (zank you) and also for suggesting the right conditioner for my out of control hair…

To Karin the Dutch queen ( btw I hated what ya paranoid Dutch did to the Indian passengers aboard NWA 42.. ya guys are losing it) … loved the Cd… and even the discussion on the comparative paradigm of international and internal conflicts in regards to international criminal laws
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To Zareen…who would crib to me about her existence and make me feel less bad about mine… very thought full and helpful to say the least…. Owe ya one girl.

To Atif my deranged flat mate, who would forget to wake me up at all odd hours, without ya my friend I would have had more time to study which would entail more hours of living through stress. And even for those cigs ya rolled for me while ya sat there and rolled ya self some 'happy' joints...

To Angela… thanks for the notes( they rock by the way), the support, your paper on restorative justice I hope ya know I almost quoted you in the exams…. And last but not the least for introducing me to the ‘hit the penguin game’…perfect way of letting out all the vent up frustration

To Manasi who introduced me to the art of Bhuddism…almost attaining nirvana now girl… world peace and all that jazz…

To my neighbors for lending me cigs at all odd hours ( I know I promised to buy them back.. but ya know what? Dream on I ain’t buying you guys shit)

To my ex girlfriend for providing me with the motivation to do really well and for making me realize that nothing or no one is worth it… love the new fuck the world attitude….ya made me see the light…( remember the tunnel ya used to talk about, quote 'shove it where the sun dont shine' unquote)

To my friends on orkut…. Kevin, Kashu, Kirti Ruhi… thanks for all those encouraging scraps

To the creators of stick cricket on http://www.stickcricket.com/ , you guys need to be made presidents

To Mr. Singh, my bank manager back in India for reminding about the educational loan that needs to be paid back.

To my mum for all those threats of disowning me in case I didn’t do well, (kept me on my toes)

To Ayushi, for calling me an hour before the exams thus keeping the tradition started in 99 alive..

To all those bagpipe players outside my window for finally shutting the fuck up… BASTARDS!!!( maybe that’s why the English wanted to wipe out the bloody Scots)

To Pearl Jam and Eddie Vedder for singing Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Village ( heard it 296 times on repeat over two days)

To Dave and Viviane for the life saving mail just before I was ready to give up all and jump off the window.

To Tanuja for those arbid texts 20 mins before my papers ( we still need to discuss that though)

And finally a big hug to all my friends who woke me up on gtalk at all odd hours.. Prachi, Divya, Melissa, Zareen, Sid, Aheli ( Atif learn something ya bloody imbecile )…. All you guys rock….thanks a zillion.

All said and done I wish this was the end.. but now I have my dissertation to write and with Captain Pink off to the US… I would be needing extra support from the rest soo be prepared for more calls, scraps and more cribbing… and yeah do keep checking this site for more posts…..